SPecial Needs Mom (24/7 Care) Starts Barrel Soy Candles

I was in the NICU holding my special needs son.  

My boy was born by emergency c section, had too short of an umbilical cord, meconium aspiration, agar score of 2, was born by emergency c section and purple. 

It seems like yesterday I was in labor all day & in the evening they yelled STAT & everyone came running & my babies heart rate dropped, this was by far the most traumatizing time of my life.

Yes, I said traumatizing, when a birth of any baby, especially your first is supposed to be the most joyous event.

It all started when I myself was a little girl, begging my momma to have another baby & she wouldn't.  Wanting a baby my whole life, waiting for the day to arrive, so I could have my own bundle of joy.  I waited till I was the perfect age & was ready.  I did everything right.

During my entire pregnancy not one ultrasound or doctors appointment showed any indication there was going to be problems, so I could maybe try too learn about and get a little knowledge of what was about to unfold. 

Being a new parent is exciting and a baby did not come with instructions, but when you add in special needs, it became the most scariest time of my life. 

One of the hardest parts was I went into labor and went to my local hospital, had the emergency c section and then the life flight team took my baby to another hospital, leaving me without the ability to see him, or to know how he was, or even to hold him…all the things I wanted to do. They would not release me, because of my own c section surgery. I didn’t even know what color my babies eyes were.

I begged the Doctor to release me, said I was fine, I had no pain, I knew I was lying, and when he said I had to go straight home to rest, I knew I wasn't. Of course, I drove straight to the other hospital, parked in the parking garage, and with every weak muscle and pain in my body, walked to the hospital. 

I will never forget when the cross walk sign said walk, I could barley make it across and some stupid jerk honked at me and yelled out the window to move it. Think thats bad, well when I was walking into the hospital a very young lady was in a wheelchair holding her newborn, waiting for her ride to pull around and go home with her healthy baby, that was just born. Like she wasn't even planning her whole life, like me. However, days before I would have rejoiced with her, & encouraged her,  but I felt cheated, I mean what could I have done wrong. Yes, me….I blamed me. I now know after  18 years maybe it wasn’t me, but I questioned it all. I mean I only ate salads, no junk, I was the best pregnant mom I could be. I even didn’t find out if he was going to be a boy or girl, I only wanted a healthy baby. I was a model pregnant lady, you know ladies, all the warnings…I didn’t risk anything.

When I was able to finally get my baby off 100% oxygen and home, and with him being my first born baby, not being around other babies, having none of my little family in state, I did not pick up on any signs something was wrong. I used all my leave, took off work, because my maternity leave was up before my baby even got out of the hospital, I was so cheated out of that time too. 

The Pediatrician said not all children meet their milestones. After a while, I realized on my own, something was off, I wasn’t convinced I asked for a MRI and I said something wasn’t right. The developmental Doctor said, a MRI isn’t medically justified, he just tested him and diagnosed him with Autism.  (Oh how I wish now that was all).

WHAT AUTISM? Now how the heck can I go back to work, like I was planning to,  all this perfect planning, it was going to be hard enough to leave a “normal” baby, my first born in a day care, but how can I trust someone to watch my Autistic baby and what was that? I googled it, I researched it for months, I went to meetings at the Autism society, I did all I could after learning as much as I could, I knew something just wasn’t right. My time was limited, I had gone back to work, just 4 days. What was I going to do? I found a new Doctor, I requested a MRI, told him my concerns, and thats when the floods of all came pouring thru with those results…

He came in the room, he said, a parents intuition is normally right, handed me his MRI scan. Told me my little baby, had Autism, Angetisis of the corpus callosum, Angetis of the Septum Pellucidum. Midline deformities, Epilepsy, Seizures, Intellectual Disability, inoperative lipoma brain tumor, ODD and so much more.

Wholly Cow, what was I gonna do now? I cant go back to work, I have to much to learn, study, get help for, therapies, I was overwhelmed. I quickly called my mother & father when I arrived home and when I was able to see the numbers on my phone from my swelled up red crying eyes, to tell them the devastating news that their first and only grandchild they waited for,  had all this. I was met with my mother telling me my father just went with hospice & she needed me to take the out of state trip up to see him. My father waited to see his one and only grandchild before he passed. Now at this time, my mother doesn’t even know who I am or my son and daughter, she has dementia.

Ok thats it, I am determined I cant go back to work. I have to cure and heal my son, was my first, and possibly every special needs parents first reaction.

On top of researching all his diagnoses, testings, calling every single church in the entire phone book and getting him added to the prayer list. I had to also find physical therapist, occupation therapist, speech therapist, cranial sacral therapist, reiki, eating therapist, church prayer groups to lay hands on him, doing therapy 6 days a week & deciding to get pregnant a year later. I had a plan still. My second baby was a girl, oh yes, I found out the gender that time, I didn’t want to feel cheated again with just saying as long as my baby is healthy.

Staying home was an easy choice, but I also had to worry about an income. So sitting here one rare evening, realizing I have to do something to come up with some money somehow, my son will never be able to work and my daughter needs a college fund.  I have no retirement fund. Oh and the big one I don’t want her to have to take care of her brother financially when I am gone, because despite meeting a LOT of milestones, and having my nonverbal child now talking, I still didn’t cure him. I decided I would start my business, Barrel Candles. www.BarrelCandles.com

Yes, its hard too do all by myself, but my children, especially my son, needs enough for LIFETIME  24/7 care, he will always need. 

All the special needs parents know that in 2018 the US Department of Agriculture said the cost of raising an average child to the age of 18 is roughly $240,000, which is a lot of money. Autism Speaks estimates that the lifetime cost for an individual with autism and/or intellectual disability averages $1.4 — $2.4 million.

I have never had assistance, I have took care of all my responsibilities, but now I need more, I am growing older & he will always need care. I will never stop being responsible.  

You know, maybe it didn’t go as planned, but my baby was still a bundle of joy, loved so much, and I was going to do anything I could to take care of him and give him all I could, it just changed my plans, and today I am feeling so truly blessed and I am glad God gave him to me, and no one else. I only hope all special needs parents feel the same way.

So let me share with you my wonderful scents of the candles I created. Please check them out and share it with all your friends. From one parent to another, we all need help. I have nothing to leave my children, I started this business, so my daughter always has it to fall back on, for the revenue supplies all my son's future needs, so she won't feel responsible and have to go without when I am under the ground. I hope if you ever need a candle you support my business. 

My goal is an e-commerce business for all to be able to buy.  I am still new to all this. I have no leads.  For 18 years I have been a stay at home mom taking care of my kids. So I have been taking classes and working very hard. This is my one shot. My one shot to make sure my son has lifetime care and my daughter has something to fall back on and no burden of her brother. One shot and I am going full throttle to make my dream come true, all for them.

Please follow my story here, progress, fails, and especially offer any help and leads you can.

Thank you all so much. God Bless you all.  Cant wait for you to smell my amazing scents. 

My daughter  Amber and I are trying to give my son Brandon a lifetime of care with this business. 

That is why each and every item is hand poured with love per order!

PLEASE SHARE MY SITE!! 

www.BarrelCandles.com GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU FOR READING THIS AND CARING!!